Bible Thumper

Friday, January 8, 2010, 1:30 PM.  I just arrived at O’Hare Int’l Airport from Kansas City.  I travelled there overnight for a business meeting that morning and left my car parked at the Terminal 3 parking lot.  I was very ill (horrible upper respiratory infection among other things) and needed to get back to my office.

As I walked up to my car on level 5, asile 2, I noticed a large yellow object surrounding my tire.  IT WAS A BOOT FROM THE CITY OF CHICAGO DEPARTMENT OF REVENUE!

There I was:  exhausted, sick, frustrated, late, and seemingly stranded.

I immediately called my Mom & Dad because they live within a mile of the airport.  My mother came, retrieved me and brought me to the office for the Dept. of Revenue.  When I arrived, the clerk behind the bullet-proof glass informed me that I was required to pay $287 to get the boot off my car.  Oh, and their credit card machine was not working that day (like I always carry $300 in cash on me).

Upon further investigation it was determined that this whole situation was the result of ONE, yes ONE, unpaid parking ticket which was issued in April of last year near Halsted & Addison in Lakeview.  I never received a parking ticket at that time but they had my license plates, name, and the make/model of the car so it was definitely legit.

So, for the last few weeks I’ve been racking my brain about what I may have been doing around that time and what would have happened to get a citation.  Then it dawned on me…John was practicing with the chorus in Lakeview weekly at that time.  He sometimes used my car to go as he had gotten rid of his when we moved back to Chicago.

I can’t prove it, but I’m guessing that John got the ticket and forgot about it.  Although, it’s not as if I’m a stranger to getting parking tickets in Chicago but I REALLY don’t think I did it THIS time.

It just goes to show that even 5 months after his death, he still has an impact on my daily life.  Hmmm…  Even David Copperfield can’t pull off a stunt like that!

Thanks for checking in, John.  I’m doing just fine. 

Loving God,
hear our prayer and console us.
As we renew our faith in your Son,
whom you raised from the dead,
strengthen our hope
that all of our departed brothers and sisters
will share in his resurrection,
who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,
one God, for ever and ever.
Amen.

This rant is about the Sam’s Club in Evanston, IL, on Main Street.

4:00 PM on New Year’s Eve, the store is full of people preparing for holiday gatherings with family and friends. I walked around getting appetizers and beverages for the small group I am hosting tonight. I waited in line with for about 15 minutes when a lady walked up to my cart with a mobile scanner. She scanned each of my items and gave me a preliminary total…not including tax.

When I finally made it to the cashier, she swiped my membership card, I paid with my credit card, and received my receipt. At first glance, I noticed that I was charged twice for a pie. I asked the cashier to correct this mistake when a supervisor, obviously foreign and probably of Indian descent, pushed her way into the conversation.

The supervisor began berating the cashier about a supposed “mistake” she made, which had nothing to do with what I was asking her to correct. Sam’s Club was selling 2-liter bottles of Coke and Diet Coke products at 4 for $3.98. I picked up two of each. After she finished publicly humiliating the Cashier, the Supervisor, proceeded to tell me that I couldn’t have the products for which I had already paid. When I told her that the transaction was already complete and that I had already purchased the products, she proceeded to take the two bottles of Diet Coke out of my cart saying, “You can’t have these, it’s against the rules.”

So here I am, angry, holding up a line of more than 25 people, arguing over 2 bottles of Diet Coke which I already purchased, and confused by this “Supervisor’s” extreme lack of customer service skills. Finally I just said, “You know what? Fuck it; this is ridiculous. I’ve already paid, you’re now stealing my property, and causing a huge issue over two bottles of soda. You can take your PRECIOUS Diet Coke back along with everything else!”

So, I walked out of Sam’s Club and went next door to the “Food 4 Less” store owned by Kroger where I purchased everything I would have gotten from Sam’s for $13 less!

Did I lose my temper? Yes. Was my language completely inappropriate? Yes. Would I change a thing about how I reacted? HELL NO! My one regret is that I didn’t make a huge scene even bigger. It’s not exactly Christian charity. Perhaps divine justice??

Thanks for letting me vent. I feel better now.

Why is it that people forget about Christmas after 12/25? Doesn’t anyone understand anymore that Christmas is not just ONE day?! It’s a SEASON of the Christian Church that lasts from 12/24 until the Celebration of the Baptism of the Lord (01/10 this year)! I hope this also clears up the questions about Christmas Carols. They’re not played throughout December because that’s ADVENT (Not Christmas) and they’re played throughout the first half of January because that’s the REAL Christmas season. IMHO, shopping malls should be playing Advent music over their PA systems during the ADVENT shopping season. My rant is complete. Thank you.

“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.”

The Abbot of our religious order, during confession on the day of my episcopal consecration, encouraged me to pray this prayer as often as possible throughout the day. I took his advice and started praying it daily in the car, in the shower, while walking the dogs, when working at my desk, even while waiting in line at the store. After a few weeks of starting this discipline, I began to notice a change in my behavior.

Those who know me well can agree that I am not the most patient person. I tend to be quite short tempered and easily annoyed. But, since beginning to pray this prayer regularly, I’ve noticed that things which once used to “set me off” immediately now seem to have little to no effect. I’m even finding it easy to spend time with children (that’s a huge improvement for me).

The Jesus Prayer, this simple, yet poignant, phrase has helped keep me focused and centered throughout some of the most difficult months of my life. I was a wreck after John died. I could barely go a day without a major meltdown. The Jesus Prayer has helped me more than words can possibly express. Praying it during the sorrows of this year has, in essence, joined my suffering to that of Christ and made it…redemptive, for lack of a better term.

Well, Abbot, I’m sure you’ll be happy to know that I followed your guidance and it has helped deliver me through a very tough time, indeed. Who would have thought that repeating one sentence could have such an effect?

So, for those of you who may be in need of a tool to help you remain sane during some of the craziest times, say a short prayer that packs a lot of punch: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.”

My brothers and sisters in Christ:

The end of 2009 brings to a close one of the most difficult years, if not the most difficult, in many of our lives. As I ponder this Christmas, I look back on the last year with great sadness. Many lives were forever changed by the death of my partner John. This will be the very first Christmas his family and friends will gather without him. They are in need of our prayers, please join me in remembering them at the altar this Christmas.

Did you know that God spelled backwards is Dog? There’s a divine, yet clandestine reason for that, I suspect. My two dogs, Reni and Molly, prove to me every day that life does go on. They have adapted very well to John’s absence. Whenever I used to bring them in from a walk outside, the dogs would run into the bedroom to find John on the bed playing with his laptop. It took them over two months, but they did finally stop running into the bedroom to search for “Daddy”. Instead of sitting on John’s shoulder while watching TV, Reni now sits on my shoulder. Molly, too, has made a change. While sleeping at night, she used to sleep right between John’s legs. It seems that I am now her human incubator. These furry beasts have helped me to understand that while these changes are profoundly difficult, adapting to these new circumstances is essential.

Many of us have experienced tragic losses this year: jobs are scarce, salaries are being cut, prices are rising, homes have been lost, relationships have ended, friends have become enemies, profound trusts have been betrayed, close friends have become gravely ill, dearly loved ones have died tragic and unnecessary deaths. As difficult as it is at times, our lives did not end with John’s death, or when relationships ended, or when trusts were betrayed, or when disease hit way too close to home. The most difficult thing we will ever do in life is adapt to unwelcome change. How we do it, though, will be the true measurement of our character.

Yet there is hope! Jesus Christ has come into the world to show us the way to God the Father, our Source of Joy and Peace.

We gather with congregations, friends, and family this night to celebrate the solemnity of the birth of the Holy Child. My prayer is that God calls forth the dormant child from within each of us; may we wonder and rejoice again in this most ancient feast! As the Magi came bearing gifts, may we, this Christmas, gift one another with the gold of charity, the myrrh of kindness, and the incense of prayer. And, may the Star of Bethlehem which shone brightly over Jesus’ crib, shine on each of you filling you – and all your loved ones – with light, happiness, and peace.

We adore you O Christ and we bless you! Through your holy birth you bring hope to all the world!

In His Service,
Bishop Bryan T. Marabanian

Why is it that so many Christians seem to be “up-tight” about sex and sexuality?  We are all created in the image and likeness of God.  That being the case, we are called to celebrate all that God created us to be.  And, just in case you’re wondering, God created us to be sexual beings.

There are divisions among some people regarding the proper celebration of sex and sexuality.  Some believe that sexual intercourse should only happen between a man and a woman who are bound together in the Sacrament of Marriage.  Others believe that sex is a recreational sport to be used for fun or the satisfaction of biological urges.  Some believe that people who engage in sex with a partner of the same gender, they’re committing a gravely immoral act.  Others believe that sex between two people, who are in a committed, monogamous relationship, is holy regardless of gender.  I think there may be some truth to all of these statements – and I’m convinced that we can all find common ground if we approach a dialogue with respect for differing viewpoints and an open heart.

Here’s what I believe:  sex is a holy, symbolic act between two people that makes manifest the love of God and love for one another in a tangible way.  In my opinion, sexual activity is appropriately enjoyed between two people, regardless of gender or gender identity, who are united in the Sacrament of Marriage.

With that said, let’s get “real” for a moment.

I also believe that sex is and should be very fun.  If you’re not enjoying it, you’re doing it wrong.

I’m gay and I live in Illinois.  We all know that means I can’t get married, legally.  Am I a virgin?  No.  Have I always been a cleric?  No.  Have I always lived up to my own moral standards regarding appropriate sexual behavior?  No.  I’ve had one night stands.  I’ve had sexual experiences with people I didn’t know as well as I should have.  I know what it is to live in the heat of the moment.  I know what it is to see and/or meet a person and be completely, instantly smitten.  I may be a bishop, but that doesn’t mean I’m ignorant or what some might call a “prude.”

I think it’s time for institutional Churches to stop stifling the sexual nature of human beings.  For centuries Christians have cast judgments on people and castigated them for what some would call “immoral” or “depraved” sexual behavior.  I’m not going to do that here.  I have no right to impose my moral compass on another human being.

In recent times some priests have preached about healthy sexual behavior behind the pulpit while molesting children behind the walls of a rectory.  Some married or partnered people preach to their children about chastity and abstinence while participating in extra-marital affairs.  Some people talk about how they want a serious relationshup then go to a club or “bathhouse” and have sexual encounters with different people almost daily.  Many families ignore the topic of sex and sexuality all together simply because it’s too embarrassing to discuss or because they’re afraid they’ll learn something about a loved one that they may not want to know.

In all of this sexual turmoil, most of us fail to understand that the best “sex life” is a healthy one.  That begins with open and honest communication with sexual partners.  It begins with giving young people the information and resources necessary to make good, healthy decisions.  It begins with authenticity and an acknowledgment of our own failings and an unwillingness to tolerate hypocrisy.  And, above all, it begins with our prayerful solidarity with one another and our mindfulness of the God who created us in his image and likeness.

Most of us have encountered what seem to be hopeless situations. For example, my parents never thought I’d be elected Vice President of the student council in 7th grade. I was running against Tamica Johnson.  She was popular and smart.  My sister, Tina, was running for President.  She was the popular and smart one on that ticket.  It was predicted to be a landslide victory for Tina and a crushing defeat for me.  The exact opposite was true.

I used to volunteer at Misericordia Home here in Chicago.  While I was there I had the opportunity to see first hand how parents with physically or mentally challenged children persist beyond what seems to be human strength to help the children achieve to the best of their ability.

Do you think it’s fair to say that most of us tend to place limits on ourselves and others because of past experiences or unrealistic expectations?

We heard in today’s gospel that Jesus did not allow expectations of people or situations to be limited by the past or the predictable. He could see the spark of faith in people who came to him, and responded to them in miraculous ways.  He is the Source of healing and the Lord of life.

For us the issue is to continue to hope and believe beyond our limitations and normal expectations, and ask for what we need as did Jairus and the woman. Sometimes this may bring ridicule or rebuke from others, especially in face of what seems to be a hopeless request. Sometimes even our request is not met to our expectation. Nevertheless, Jesus invites us to the kind of faith and trust that does work miracles.

By the way, I was elected President in 8th grade.  No one expected me to lose.

It’s 2:44 AM on Saturday morning. Lainie and John are both asleep. I’m sitting in the living room on the “six thousand dollar sofa” (no, it’s not really a 6K sofa…long story), with barely any light, and typing this post.

Last weekend, the American Apostolic Church had it’s annual General Assembly. This is the annual weekend gathering of the whole body of clergy and all of Church government. During our time together we pray, consider projects, participate in workshops, vote on important issues or pending legislation, and spend time renewing friendships.

This year we gathered in Milwaukee, WI., at Emmaus Priory. Father Michael Frankwick, OSB, was a most gracious host.

Our first order of business on Friday was the Chrism Mass. In the Catholic tradition this liturgy is normally celebrated on the morning of Holy Thursday or sometime during Holy Week but, because the body of clergy gathers so infrequently, we celebrate it when we can all renew our priestly commitments together. I was installed as Presiding Bishop, the oils were blessed, and we clergy renewed our commitment to priestly service. As we celebrated the liturgy together, I must admit to having felt a little empty inside.

Saturday was to be a day of healing and reconciliation. Bishop Steven celebrated Mass, Bishop-elect Lainie (who was ordained the following day) preached a most powerful homily.

As I pondered Lainie’s homily, I envisioned Thomas lovingly touching the body of our Lord. That image often brings tears to my eyes. It causes me to remember the times I’ve failed to be faithful. It causes me to remember the times that I demanded proof. And sometimes, when I get the proof I need, I’m not nearly as gentle as Thomas. I don’t fall to my knees, caress the hands of God, and sob. I generally get indignant and angry because I’ve been forced to examine my own short-comings by someone who is less sophisticated than I am (or so I think).

We continued through the day working on our scheduled tasks: considering legislation, praying, preparing and sharing meals, and having fun getting to learn more about each other. Still, I felt empty.

On Sunday Morning, we arrived at the priory and prepared for the ordination of two new bishops for the Church. Friends and family gathered, music started playing, and the Mass had begun. There I was fully vested, surrounded by people, celebrating one of the most joyful moments at which a bishop can ever preside, and I felt empty. That feeling of emptiness is with me, even today (almost one week later).

Here I am, in the silence of night, listening to the occasional car pass by on the street below and wondering when this ever-faithful God is going to make himself present to me as he did to Thomas that day in the upper-room. I’m not as lucky as Thomas, I’m afraid. I don’t get to have Jesus pop-in when I’m feeling empty and alone in the world. …or do I?

When I’m with people who know I’m a priest, sometimes they tell me that they feel empty inside. And I ask them, are you praying? Usually the answer is a very quick “oh yes!” which means “um….no” and is followed by a VERY guilty look. And I think to myself, “if you’re not putting forth the effort into your relationship with the Lord, you’re not going to ever be cognizant of the effort Jesus is putting into it”. That, my friends, is my problem in a nut-shell.

The difference between us and Jesus is that he constantly has to seek us out. We don’t have to seek him out. He is always present in our hearts and in the Sacrament of his Body and Blood. All we have to do is believe.

May the heart of Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament be praised, adored, and loved, with grateful affection at every moment, in all the tabernacles of the world, even until the end of time. Amen.

…An exerpt from a letter I received that I tend to agree with on most points…

They compared same-sex marriage to a marriage between an uncle and a niece. Or between two children. No, we’re not talking about Rick Santorum. We’re talking about the Obama administration’s Justice Department. The brief the DOJ presented defending the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in federal court was not just wrong. It was offensive. The New York Times called it “disturbing” in its lead editorial.

Back in the days of the 2008 campaign, Senator Obama promised he would work to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act. But now that a gay couple in California is challenging DOMA in federal court, President Obama has chosen to take action to defend a law that prevents legally married same-sex couples from receiving any federal benefits, or from having their marriages recognized in other states.

I just signed a petition to tell President Obama and Attorney General Holder to withdraw this offensive brief and apologize for its contents. (The website also has a great video of Rachel Maddow and Howard Dean discussing the importance of this issue!) Please have a look and take action.

http://act.credoaction.com/campaign/doma_brief/?r_by=-2085228-aOuPmDx&rc=paste

I received a message from my brother today… I found it to be very interesting and wanted to share the crux of it with you…

Everyone knows that the fuel company, Citgo, is owned by the Venezuelan government. In my opinion, shopping at Citgo is akin to giving money directly to a state sponsor of terrorism.

Citgo is currently in the process of changing its name to “PETRO EXPRESS” due to the loss of gasoline sales in the USA. I suspect this is due to the recent publicity of ownership by Hugo Chavez’s government.  Chavez is finally feeling the loss of revenue from his holdings.

It is my opinion that every dollar we spend with ”CITGO” or “PETRO EXPRESS” gasoline will be used against us, our basic human rights, and our freedoms.